Daily Meditation Blog

Each of us is packaged with our own unique gifts.  We are born with talents and skills, fueled by passions in order to help us fulfill our destiny, the incarnation of our soul in this lifetime.

Some are quite obvious like a gift for music or a talent for art.  For whatever reason there seems to be an inclination, an affinity, something we are drawn to. 

Perhaps at first our gift appears rudimentary.  But through practice and committment our gifts can be cultivated allowing us to touch another soul through the beauty of our song or the wonder of our painting.

Gifts don’t always have to be these grand, oversized packages.  Some are so small they are often overlooked, not even recognized as a gift.

Perhaps you are able to put people at ease.  Maybe you are an amazing cook who is able to nourish one’s body and soul.  Or you listen with a tender heart.

These tendencies may seem so inherent, so natural to who you are that they are not even thought of as anything special.  Perhaps you even diminish these unique gifts as no big deal.

But I have come to see that no matter what the size of our gift, they are not ours. 

Gifts are given to us.  They are part of the creators design to  help us fulfill our soul obligations.

And as such our gifts are meant to be given away.   That is the purpose of a gift.

So why do we hide?  Afraid of letting someone see what makes us so beautiful?  What fills us with innocence? 

We are afraid our gifts will not be valued.  We will be rejected in the most tender aspects of who we are.  We are afraid we will crumble.

But gifts are not ours to keep.  Again and again we must give them away.

Give away our compassion.

Give away our love.

Give away our light.

And fulfill our soul.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

How is it there is no refuge in my heart?  Instead of sanctuary I find discontent.  No place to rest.  Weary on this path.  

These dark inner caverns have not felt safe.  Yet embracing this darkness is the longing of heart.  Embracing this darkness brings with it light.

I am safe in the disappointment of my heart.

I am safe in the loneliness of my heart.

I am safe in the bitterness of my heart.

I am safe in the confusion of my heart.

I am safe in the despondency of my heart.

I am safe in the hate in my heart.

I am safe in the anger in my heart.

I am safe in the doubt in my heart.

I am safe in the fear in my heart.

I am safe in the abandonment of my heart.

I am safe in the judgment of my heart.

I am safe in the depression of my heart.

I am safe in the darkness of my heart.

I am safe in the sadness of my heart.

I am safe in the ache of my heart.

I am safe in the yearning of my heart.

I am safe in fatigue in my heart.

I am safe in the mourning of my heart.

I surrender to rest in this darkness of heart.  

Without running, no more hiding, I give up the fight against what is there.  With this surrender comes an ease.  For to see in the darkness light is revealed.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

I have come to believe that all paths to love lead to disappointment.

This is not some universal truth about love but rather a construction of mind based on the loss of my innocence.

Innocence of heart.  Delighted.  New.  Full of wonder in every moment.

Innocence scarred by pain.  Wounded heart believing love hurts too much.  Protect myself.  Guarded in armor.  In this fortress there is no room for innocence just protection from pain.  

An innocent child lives within me.

She walks along a river bank, a little yellow bucket swinging in her hand.  Surrounded by sunny meadows and grassy wildflowers.  There is no plan or thought of where to go.  She sings and skips, alone and complete.

I follow this child, so full of grace.  The path moving downhill following the river.  She follows the water.  I follow her flow.  Her path is trust.  No thought of where to go.

The path has lead to a rush of falling water.  A natural wonder of beauty and delight.  We stand at the river where it falls over the edge.  To a wonderous waterfall this path has lead. 

She watches this water fall on a soft grassy river bank.  Sitting in rapture at the water’s edge.  A bunny hops over.  So soft and so friendly.  She plays with this bunny.  A new furry friend.  And this bunny has babies.  They come to join.  So cute and so precious in this land of delight.

This path of innocence, this path unknown.  Has lead to beauty.  Beauty of the soul.  Walking in trust.  Walking without fear.  Walking in innocence has lead me here.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

Form and formlessness. 

This I am.

In form I am a crystal sphere.  Transparent, naked, starkly revealed.  Limitless as sphere, unbounded possiblities.  No beginning.  I have no end.

Emanating from sphere light pulsates as formlessness.

This too I am.  Light emanating from form.

When form is clear, light is free to radiate.  An uninhibited dance of love.  Shining bright as stars in black night.

This too I am. 
A dance of Love.

In truth I am clear.  In truth I am whole.

Yet somehow my crystal dulls its own light.  Its shine diminished.  Hiding its glow.

My light I fear.  Unworthy of such brilliance.  Thoughts solidified, clouding form.  Light unable to penetrate sphere.  My own beauty dulled in doubt and fear.  Clouds of the mind casting shadow on light.

Clouds block Sun yet Sun remains.  Light momentarily obscured in a nebulous fog.

I polish this crystal.

Again and again.

I polish this form with the practice of meditation.

Again and again and again I sit.  I sit to clear mind and return to the light.

Again and again and again I sit.  I sit to find source like a child lost from home.  

Again and again and again I sit.  I sit to seek love.  For my light is my love.

Again and again and again I sit.  Polishing form.  Shining light.

Form and formlessness.

This I am.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

Eating something from Earth every day…fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, wheat, rice, salt, herbs, seaweed, nuts…a practice in abundance.

Food that does not arise directly from Earth derives its elements  from nature like bread and yes…chocolate….thank you, Mother Earth, thank you for chocolate!

As I eat I feel this abundance, this awe and amazement for all Earth provides.  So much abundance arising from Earth.  To provide us with everything we need to stay alive.

You feed us Great Mother so full of abundance.  Food arising from the bosom of Earth.  Your bounty is plenty, your offerings so rich.  I consume this abundance with every succulent dish. 

I feel your abundance in the sweetness of mango, I drink your abundance with fresh squeezed juice.  Your abundance runs through me in barley and broccoli.  I feel your abundance, the abundance of Earth.

Eat with gratitude.  Eat with prayer.  And remember the abundance….that is everywhere.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

I stand at a crossroads.

Many things falling from my life. 

Belief systems built in bedrock dismantling.  Relationships keep leaving.  I stand in stark aloneness with no guide or map to follow but my own surrender to trust.  No people or relationships left to cling to, no significant other. 

And in this solitude, this place of finding my own deeply felt truths without the approval of another, I am developing the capacity to make my own way in the darkness without the support of this deep need for human relationship.

This is the grace of the universe now…this path of self reliance that will be strong enough to stand in relationship.  

Great comfort now in solitude.  More peace than I have known.  Unencumbered by relationship, especially the poor investments in ones that don’t serve.

I stand at a crossroads.

Which way to turn?

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

My body is a divine and sacred temple in which Spirit dwells.

When I embody this truth, there is no room for negative thought.

For negative thought becomes a defilement to this sacred dwelling.  Imagine the harm perpetuated by walking into a church, a temple, a mosque, a forest…a sacred dwelling of any kind…and defacing this structure.

What would that feel like to violate the sanctity of these sacred dwellings by spray painting profanity all over the walls, denegrating the structure?

This is the effect of our negative thoughts on our sacred dwelling.

My body is a divine and sacred temple in which Spirit dwells.

For our body is home to Spirit.  And when we engage in self talk that is harmful, toxic and negative we are doing the same thing to our own temple, our own sacred structure.

My body is a divine and sacred temple in which Spirit dwells.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

There was a time we lived in harmony with Nature.
We respected her wisdom & understood the connection of all things

Through the course of modern evolution,
we have come to believe we have power over Nature.

We pave highways & pour concrete over ground,
suffocating Earth’s prana.

We build skyscrapers taller than trees believing we have dominion.

Careless mistakes & waste create environmental havoc.

We forget the ancient wisdom within.

Look around!

Nature is quiet.
Slowing down & turning inward.

We are not differentiated.

This too is our Nature.

During this holiday time…
remember.

Remember the ancient wisdom that lives in you.
The calling of your soul to slow down & be still.

Turn inward & listen to your heart,
its whispers heard in the solitude of silence.

For it is in this stillness,
we are born anew.

Be…
Breathe…
Meditate….

Blessings to all this holiday season.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com
 

It has been so long since I have sat here to write.  The longer I am away the more difficult it is to return.

This blog is offered in service.  An intention to touch someone….just one.  Inspire through revelations or words.  Just one and I make a difference.

But discouragment set in.  My blog…a radar for all sorts of spam.  Not my intention when I sit to write.

And through that discouragement I become disempowered.  Defeated in the face of expectations unmet.

So I let this junk have power over me.  I decide to return and see how that feels.

I am also afraid that I have disappointed some.  Committing to writing then not showing up.  The longer I am away, the harder to return.

I am reminded of Rumi, in his ecstatic teachings…

Come, come, whoever you are! 
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving, come.
This is not a caravan of despair. 
It doesn’t matter if you have broken your vows a thousand times,
still come,
and yet again come!

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com

A solid foundation is building inside.  Stabilizing fluidity. 

For what do I stand?

I fall into trust.

The ground under me feet.

For how can I know what lies beyond?  I don’t have the answers.  I don’t know what’s to come.

The only stability…

is surrender to trust.

karen chrappa
www.thaihealingherbals.com